Then comes baby in a baby carriage!!

This month, my youngest child celebrated another birthday. As I gave him a hug and patted his bum the amount of times of his age (a tradition from his first birthday) I reflected on how quickly the years have gone by and thought about how it felt like it was just yesterday that I was holding him in my arms, cradling him to sleep.

How fast time seems to slip by and how I am in awe sometimes as to how I and my lovely wife made it through our children being babies, to being toddlers, to children, teenagers, and now young adults! I reflect on the good times, focusing on our successes and reminiscing on the failures and learning experiences we had in raising our children.

For those who are looking for counsel as to how to be more successful in your parenting endeavors, I would say, read, re-read, and read again,  The Family: A Proclamation to the World. It is in this proclamation, that you will find the secret nuggets of wisdom which will guide you and give you the roadmap on how to be successful. One of my ‘ah ha’ excerpts from this guide is how it states that Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness. What a profound statement!

How does one raise their children in love and righteousness? Well, there are so many opinions out there, yet for what I have found, following the counsel given in the book Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, edited by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper (2020) and learning the Authoritative Parenting Style you will be just that, successful! I really like how the book talks about ‘Love, Limits, and Latitude in Parenting’. Check out the following excerpts:

“The first of the three characteristics of authoritative parenting is Love, or connection. Brigham Young counseled, “Kind looks, kind actions, kind words, and a lovely, holy deportment toward them will bind our children to us with bands that cannot easily be broken; while abuse and unkindness will drive them from us.” Prophetic statements such as these, supported by research, suggest that warm and responsive parenting tends to promote lasting bonds between parents and children and “felt security” within children.” (Eds., Hawkins, et al. 2020, p. 108).

“The second element of authoritative parenting is Limits, known in the scholarly literature as regulation. Finding ways to effectively help children learn how to regulate their own behavior in noncoercive ways is one of the most challenging parts of authoritative parenting. Determining how and when to tighten or loosen the reins requires considerable creativity, effort, and inspiration.” (Eds., Hawkins, et al. 2020, p. 109).

“The third component of authoritative parenting is Latitude, or autonomy. Children benefit from being given choices and appropriate levels of latitude to make their own decisions in a variety of domains. Children learn and grow by learning how to make choices within limits that are acceptable to parents.” (Eds., Hawkins, et al. 2020, p. 112).

As babies come into our lives, we become parents, and I feel that as we become parents, we naturally learn how to love our children; we naturally set limits with our children; and I would even say we naturally learn how to give our children the autonomy needed to become who they are meant to become. We need to have faith in knowing that God will direct us, guide us, and lead us to knowing exactly how best to parent our children. In the premortal existence, we were born from a loving Father and Mother and I firmly believe that our heavenly parents taught us about our divine destiny, one of the most divine callings being that of being a parent. Let us remember this and give the best that we can in loving the children that are given to us to raise in love in righteousness.

References

Eds., A.J.H.D.C.D.T.W. D. (2020). Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. BYU Bookstore Publishing Services. https://online.vitalsource.com/books/9780842528030

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1995). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng